Dirt

Field notes:
Sage: Takes cookie, buries cookie. Digs cookie up. Puts cookie in mouth. Takes out cookie. Buries cookie again. Digs cookie up. Forego pattern and faceplants into dirt. Always quicker to take out middle man.
Lola: Fills bucket with water, grabs old mop (where did this mop come from? What/who owned it before and to what purpose? Why did it end up in the hands of my eight year old?) and proceeds to "wash" the car. Gets bored. Takes off clothes. Sticks head in bucket (no, she did not chage the water first)
Stella: Run around yard trying to escape "safety" perimeter. Books it down the driveway to the road. If no options present themselves, chooses cliff to dive off of. If blocked, throws herself down hill towards certian death in vernal pool.

Such a large part of being a parent is watching my kids have fun and just GETTING OUT OF THE WAY.....The babies are finally getting to the point where we can let them roam a bit without complete survelance. One must still be on their toes, but I am a fast runner, so they can have a little bit of extra leash to play with.


Today was probably the most beautiful day I have seen in the last 7 months. There is something to be said about suffering through winter, days like these come at you with a force to be reckoned with. And I enjoy it more. I know, that winter is just around the corner...............................

These people (if you can call them that) who I live with, for some mysterious reason think that I run a restaurant. The weird thing is, they NEVER tip! At first I thought, oh, maybe there was a mix up, when they split the bill, something got miscalculated. I brushed it off, because we had a good rapport and all... Thing is, they keep coming back. I mean, for like, every single meal. And they NEVER leave a tip. I inquired as to what everyone felt like for dinner this evening as I was giving the babes and Lola a bath (first mistake, I now realize they thought I was offering them a menu). I then gave two options. Everyone looked at me like, "....and???? I stated that these were the options unless someone else wanted to cook. Lola asks, "Is there onions in it?" -no (yes, there is. And a zucchini. And garlic. Oh, child, you would be so mad if you knew all of the disgusting things I slip into your gullet) "Is there cheese?" -Yes. Yes, there is always cheese. Because cheese is the greatest thing the gods ever handed down to man. And wine. They are the biblical equivalent of Adam and Eve. Lola looks at me deeply, as if to discern which tricky path I offered was the safest route. "Okay. I guess that will be okay." And with a flip she is fully underwater, practically drowning the babies in her wake. I seem to have forgotten that I did anything besides parent for the last 8 months. Admittedly, I am an Aquarius (yes, those people who "changed it" can suck it) and good at starting things, yet so very poor at finishing. Too broad in scope, I often find. Anyways, I think I will just post when I can, and please know, I usually have no more than 20 mins to do this, so excuse my prose as it were.

Um....is that....FORMULA??!!

I have a bone to pick. I need to rant. Okay, so on the right you will witness me breastfeeding my twins. They are about 5 months old in this picture. They are closing in on 8 months now and are still breastfed. I have an older daughter, who was also breastfed until she was a year old. Needless to say, I am all for breastfeeding. For me it is easy. My babies and I took to it easily, I had a lot of support from my spouse/family/friends, and, well, truth be told, I am lazy. I like the zombie-like feedings in the night, as opposed to the frantic make-a-bottle-as-fast-as-you-can-while-baby-is-screaming. I like falling asleep and letting said baby do it's thing. The easiest road people. The problem I am having as of now, is this little juicy tid-bit sent to me via my beloved Facebook: Why I Choose Not to Use a Car Seat - Author UnknownShare. Today at 12:13am Please note, this is intended to be ironic. As a mom and a Child Passenger Safety Technician, I am a strong advocate of car seats installed and used correctly 100% of the time. I refuse to feel guilty for making an educated choice to not put my baby in a car seat. There are so many militant car seat users in our society and I am tired of them pushing their beliefs on me. There are lots of reasons I have made this choice. First of all, I want my husband to be able to drive him around in his car. He can just sit him on his lap when they go for a ride. This will help him bond and be closer with our son. I don't want to be the only one that drives him around. It makes my husband, mother and friends feel special when they can take him for rides. I will be returning to work in 6 weeks and I don't want a big old car seat in the back of our luxury car. I never put my first son in a car seat and he is just fine. I was never in a car seat, neither was my mother and we are both as healthy as can be. On the other hand, my sister in law's cousin used a car seat and her child was seriously injured in a car wreck. My aunt tried to use a car seat and wasn't able to. She was never able to latch the baby in the seat properly. In fact, my car is too small for a car seat anyway. What matters most is that my baby is healthy and happy. When I left the hospital, they told me that I should try to use the car seat, but if it didn't work out that it was all right to not use it. In fact, in the diaper bag that I received from the hospital, it has some information for how to safely ride in the car with my son without a car seat. I tried for 1 week to use a car seat with my first son and it made both of us miserable. I told my pediatrician about it, and he said it would probably be best to not use a car seat anymore. Now he is happy and content sitting on my lap as we drive. Using a car seat is just so inconvenient! My privacy is also an issue. Do I want everyone to know when they see my car that I have a child? Besides, my children need to learn how to ride in the car without being in the car seat. I don't want a 3 year old still wanting to get in his seat! I know that using a car seat has some benefits, but there are a lot of people out there who don't use them and their kids are just fine! There are people out there that cannot use a car seat (can't latch baby in properly, car is too small, doesn't match with the interior). Using a car seat is a personal choice and nobody's business. As a parent I have made the decision for what is best for my child. It works best for us and our child and that is all that is important. It's my choice after all, isn't it? This is from a Facebook page titled "Hey FB: Breastfeeding In Public Is FINE- Advertising Formula Is NOT!" Okay. So, obviously this is not about car seats. It is a painful attempt in satire. It is also taking a cheap jab at people out there who CHOOSE not to breastfeed. Not people who CAN'T, but people who CHOOSE to feed their babies the most evil of concoctions: FORMULA. What pisses me off about this little article, is that, in essence, it is shooting all of us pro-breast people in the foot. It comes off sounding snide, obnoxious, and elitist. It is NOT funny, and the comparison is weak at best, insulting at worst. Look, women who choose not to breast feed their kids do just that. They choose. To glibly say that this choice is in any way comparable to putting your child's life at risk in a idiotic manner is...just bad writing. The above "note" or whatever they are called on Facebook, will only act in further alienating women out there who decide to use formula, and make it seem as if all the women out there who do breastfeed are looking down on them. What you feed your babies is your business. No one Else's. I HATE the formula/breast debate. All it does is turn mother on mother. LAME SAUCE. It also turns us women on ourselves. Whether or not you use formula or breast feed is not the issue. The issue, is that you, as a woman, NOT A BABY MACHINE, have a choice in the matter. I want women to make an educated decision when it comes to ALL aspects of their OWN bodies. While it is true that there are women who come to this specific decision lacking some/all of the ideal tools and information (while unfortunate) is not the point. That is a whole different problem in general, and it is unfair to continually blame women for the societal pitfalls that preceded them. I fail to see the connection between a woman who makes "an educated decision" to not put her baby in a car seat, and a woman who "makes an educated decision" to not breast feed. I can, however, make out the distinction between women who are on this journey with me in love and support (despite how they feed their children) and women who are quick to judge, and believe that other woman's bodies are their own business.

By Golly! I think we may have done it!

Well, here I am.


5 a.m. Listening to those annoying Sounds 'n' Lights musical toys. The ones that have a very well kempt, and well rested mom on the cover of the box. She is lounging on a carpet (no doubt void of any dog hair) playing joyfully with her smiling (clean, and dog-hairless) bouncing baby boy/girl.


This is not me this morning. This is not me any morning. I'm a, Lucky-if-I-get-a-shower-in, type of gal. One who doesn't always get to brush her teeth. Lets not even get into the state of affairs my carpet is in.


This is not a job for the weak of heart. This is also not a job I applied for, but randomly got. I feel guilty about this whenever I get frustrated and angry at how hard it is to raise kids. I know that there are so many women out there in the world who would give anything to have what I have. Yet, on the morn of my third consecutive night without more then 2 hours of sleep, alone with two infants, three dogs, and an annoying cat, I have to say, parenting is for the birds.

6 hours later......

Okay, I love them again, and would murder anyone who tried to hurt them. Stella is crawling around and makes crazy growling noises, like she should be some beast from "Where the Wild Things Are". Sage, just lies there looking at me like there is no one in the world who could possibly be as wonderful as me.
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These ups and downs, these emotional ebbs and flows, are, in my opinion, what makes parenting so exhausting. All of the tangle of emotions from the love, to the anger, the guilt, the hilarity, the despair, it is all consuming. When people say to me, "Wow, I can't imagine your life", it is THIS that I want to be able to impart. It is an exhaustion they will never enjoy, and yet will be utterly lucky to avoid.